How to Drink Better (If You Know It’s Gonna Happen)
Because life happens, weddings have open bars, and sometimes the vibes demand tequila.
Look, no one’s pretending that alcohol is a wellness tonic. You’re not “balancing your chakras” with a spritz. But if you know you're going to drink — whether it's a rooftop rosé moment or a Thursday that mysteriously became a Saturday — you can still show up for your body like a half-decent adult.
Here’s how to drink like someone who also owns electrolyte packets and reads the ingredient labels on cereal:
1. Hydrate Like a Functional Human
Yes, this again. Dehydration is one of the main reasons hangovers hit like a truck. Alcohol is a diuretic (translation: it makes you pee more), and your cells are crying out for water while you're three margaritas deep thinking you're invincible.
Pro move: One glass of water per drink.
2. Skip the Vodka-Red Bull, You're Not in College
Caffeine masks how drunk you are, which is how people end up making “why did I DM my ex at 2 a.m.” decisions. Stimulants and depressants don’t cancel each other out — they just confuse your nervous system. If your drink tastes like a science experiment, it probably is.
3. Lighter Liquor, Lighter Consequences
Not all booze is created equal. Darker liquors like whiskey, rum, and brandy have more congeners (byproducts of fermentation), which may worsen hangovers. Clear spirits like vodka, gin, or tequila are generally gentler on your system.
4. Food First, Always
Drinking on an empty stomach is like running a marathon in stilettos. It’s going to end badly. Eat something with carbs, protein, and a bit of fat beforehand — think avocado toast, not just a sad rice cake. Food slows alcohol absorption.
5. Electrolytes
Sodium, potassium, magnesium — they’re your post-drinking BFFs. Pop some electrolytes before going out and again before bed. Think of it as preventive medicine.
6. Wine and Beer > Mystery Cocktails
If you want better control over your intake, stick to drinks with known alcohol content. That strawberry-lime ‘something’ in a jar? Tastes like juice, hits like regret. Stick to drinks you can actually identify. Wine and beer have fewer surprises (and usually fewer regrets).
7. Stop Before the Vibes Do
This is the hard part. Knowing when to leave the party, or switch to sparkling water, is an elite skill. My tip? Bring one non-alcoholic wine to the function so you can easily switch gears when you feel it.
Alcohol isn't a green smoothie. But if you're going to drink, you can still make choices your body will thank you for. Hydrate. Eat. Choose wisely. And maybe, just maybe, skip the third round of espresso martinis — your 9 a.m. self will thank you.